Ok...We Confess...This May Be A True "Dirty Video".

All Kelly Coffman-Lee wanted to do was share her philosophy of life with everyone else on the road. "We're all vegan in my family," the Centennial woman says of herself, her husband and their three kids. "Tofu is a staple, and my car is just a mass of bumperstickers about animal rights and global warming. It displays my philosophy of life." And she thought a vanity license plate proclaiming her love of healthy, animal-free eating would look just perfect in the middle of those messages on her fuel-efficient Suzuki, the smallest car she could find that could still fit three car seats.

So this winter, she filled out the proper forms and submitted her plate request to the Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles, which initially accepted it. But not long after, Coffman-Lee got a call from a state bureaucrat informing her that, on second look, the DMV was rejecting "ILVTOFU."

Because it was "possibly offensive to the general public." Because, well, people could get the wrong idea.

"Dirty, dirty DMV," Coffman-Lee says. To her, "ILVTOFU" clearly refers to loving tofu, not loving to fu** you. "I'd never put that on my family vehicle, for sure," she points out.

"Our keen-eyed license-plate reviewers see that saying something else, unfortunately," responds Mark Couch, spokesman for the Colorado Department of Revenue, which oversees the DMV. "That dangling FU on this proposal is what prevented her from getting that plate."

Not surprisingly, PETA has already weighed in on this shocking rejection of not-exactly-free speech (after all, you have to pay for vanity plates). "It's shocking to us that the DMV calls a vegetarian plate offensive," says spokeswoman Lindsay Rajt. "We think the DMV can do a lot of good by reconsidering its decision and allowing people to discover the joy of soy."

But that's not likely to happen, according to Couch. In fact, anything ending with FU won't pass muster with the DMV — and FUC and FUK are also forbidden.

At this point, Coffman-Lee does not plan on going back to the drawing board. "That's really the one I liked," she says. "More people need to start taking responsibility. I feel it's all on the hippie freaks to do the right thing."

Honk if you LVTOFU.